Dear ABBY: I am married to a guy from a various region, tradition and faith. We have an astounding marriage, and he is my ideal buddy. We do almost everything together — grocery shop, day nights, travel, and so on. He is a superb spouse. The only difficulty is he does not add financially. I have informed him time and yet again that this is heading to be a major trouble for us.
In his state, the men and women are bad, so he sends income to his family. His dad and mom are fantastic, humble folks and I love them dearly. He doesn’t receive as considerably as I do, but I do not really feel that need to halt him from earning some financial contribution to OUR Existence. He will make a first rate income and could buy some groceries or pay for a dinner here or there, but he does not. I pay out for every little thing — automobiles, fuel, residing, groceries, espresso, phones, and so forth.
We had agreed that following he paid out off his money owed, he would place a selected volume of cash in the savings, which would nevertheless leave him $1,000 for himself. A thousand dollars is 50 percent a year’s income in his place. For the previous 3 months he has built no contributions, and when I asked about it, he explained he doesn’t know what he did with the funds. He’s clearly lying.
I am so furious that I’m contemplating divorce. I have by no means advised him not to assist his relatives, and I have been very generous with them as very well. But it concerns me that he is only involved with his family members again residence and not the well-becoming of the family members we have built collectively. — MONEY’S THE Difficulty IN MISSISSIPPI
Pricey MONEY’S THE Challenge: Your “wonderful” husband has reneged on his promise to place revenue in the personal savings account and lied to you about wherever the money is heading. Could it have long gone someplace other than to his mom and dad? You have a right to know. Relationship is more than a passionate adventure. It is also a partnership — and one particular in which your spouse is not contributing his agreed-upon share. You may be in a position to resolve this with the assistance of a licensed mediator or counselor, but if it doesn’t remedy the problem, converse to an lawyer about preserving oneself fiscally.
Expensive ABBY: I am a mother of two and grandmother of 3. I have a few cousins I socialize with from time to time, but I can’t say I’m specially shut to any of them. I enjoy paying most of my time with my small children, grandchildren and husband.
Recently, one of my cousins has been pestering me to have a household reunion. Each individual time we chat, he provides up the matter, as properly as other family members associates we have dropped touch with. I have told him and his wife repeatedly that I am not intrigued in internet hosting a relatives reunion, and very frankly, would not be intrigued in attending just one, both.
I really do not want to appear to be severe, but I have minor fascination in reuniting with several of my cousins, and I uncover significant family gatherings tense. I sense like they are seeking to bully me into internet hosting and/or attending a thing I have mentioned time and once more I’m not interested in. What really should I do? — NAGGED IN NEW JERSEY
Expensive NAGGED: The future time he brings up the topic of your internet hosting a household reunion, snicker. Then convey to him the folks who need to do it are him and his wife since you are not interested. Then modify the topic.
Pricey Abby is published by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was launched by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Call Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.